Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
