if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
