I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
