why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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