Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
