As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
