I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
