i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
