She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
