sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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