Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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