guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
