This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
