my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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