i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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