There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
