Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
