No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
