so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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