Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
