you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
