idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
