It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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