This is not my ceiling
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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