If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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