How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
