he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
