lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
