White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
