mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
