3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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