im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
