Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
