I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we made out on top of his cat.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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