he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize