Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
