32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
