we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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