I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
