Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
