people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
