That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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