I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ladies don't puke and tell
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
