I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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