apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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