I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just had sex bonerless
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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