Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
