My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
