Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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