It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He shit in the fireplace
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
